Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize