Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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