woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
