it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
