why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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