You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
