Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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