Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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