return my video game
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
