come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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