im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
