we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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