Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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