Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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