My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
