i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
