Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
