If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
