she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
