you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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