Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
