haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He passed out mid-signature
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
