We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
