I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
