The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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