She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
