She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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