Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
