My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
