haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
