Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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