i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So much rum. So many feels.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize