I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
