So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
