So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
