Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
