i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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