im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The ass gains better be worth it
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