Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
