Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
