Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
