im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
