someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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