Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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