i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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