My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
