A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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