your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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