You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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