it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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