And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize