so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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