This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
