i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
false alarm. still invincible.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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