we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
