Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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