it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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