sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm bleeding and have questions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
